Bald and beautiful

It's easy to define ourselves by the problems that beset us, so it was surprising and refreshing to hear Robyn Woodrow, who in June of last year underwent significant surgery and six months of chemotherapy to treat ovarian cancer, say her life defining moment has nothing to do with having cancer, “I’m not defined by the cancer, nor has it facilitated any significant changes in my life - apart from forcing me to go back and better prioritise some aspects.”

In fact, Robyn speaks of the positive things that have come out of her diagnosis, “During this period, I expanded my quest for headwear into a business – Beautifully Bald, and my cancer also provided me the opportunity to meet people who I would otherwise never have met.” Robyn sees the cancer as “just” a road-bump she hopes not to revisit. She chooses to focus on, “just getting on with living” and hopes to make the journey a little easier for the women who follow, by taking every opportunity to speak to women about ovarian cancer, and participate in many cancer fundraisers.

So what was Robyn’s life defining moment? Losing her mother a good twenty years earlier than she expected to! “My mother has been a great inspiration to me and was just one of life’s most beautiful souls. She always put everything into perspective, and would make everyone feel valued. She also believed, quite correctly, that a cup of tea could solve a plethora of problems.”

So make yourself a cuppa and be encouraged by Robyn’s journey:

Can you give our readers a little snapshot of your family? My husband, Craig, and I met when we were both in the Army. We spent the first fifteen years of our marriage moving every year or so. During this period our children Thomas (15) and Molly (11) were born. I was juggling full-time work, studying for a couple of Masters Degrees, and managing the kids while my husband was away for periods of up to three months at a time. In hindsight, I’m not sure how (or why) I did it! Now Craig works and lives in Brisbane during the week, so I do the ‘single parent’ thing Monday to Friday, and the kids go to school.

Where do you live and why? We live at Eudlo. We used to come up here every weekend, and every Sunday afternoon we would all groan as we packed up to go back to Brisbane. One day we just decided that there was no reason we couldn’t reverse the pattern - live in Eudlo, and travel to Brisbane if we needed to. I also wanted some space to establish a small studio.

We have lived both around Australia and overseas – we lived in India, in the ‘suburbs’ in New Delhi for a year when the kids were 4 and 8 years old. One of the main reasons we accepted the post was that we thought it would be a great experience for the children, and that they would appreciate what a blessed life they live in Australia. It was quite confronting for the kids, with so much ‘in your face’ poverty and filth, but we did lots of preparation before we went. I think moving often has led to our kids being quite close – family was the only constant, but it is wonderful to be staying put for a while!

Is the journey of motherhood what you expected? I had no expectations, and was always conscious of listening to advice and reading widely, but ultimately making my own decisions about what felt right. I had a wonderful role model in my own mother.
I’ll be honest though – raising teenagers is much more difficult than I ever expected.

What qualities do you most admire in each of your children? I admire my son’s insight and sense of humour, and my daughter’s compassion and concern for others.
I am also envious of their musical abilities (I have no idea where they got that from!).

What is your biggest parenting frustration? Feeling invisible – talking, but realising no-one is listening.

What delights you most about motherhood? Feeling valued and valuable. Realising that the world would be much poorer without my children – and I have a role in that. I love a spontaneous hug from a teenager who often won’t let me near him, and finding my bed strewn with hand-cut paper love hearts from a child who thought I needed cheering up. I especially treasure those moments lying next to my kids and really talking about things that are important to them, and (hopefully) passing on some sound advice.

Can you share some advice you’ve found helpful? Firstly: You always have a choice – there is never, ever a situation where you ‘have to’ do something! And I’m trying hard to heed that ‘special occasion’ or ‘tomorrow’ may never come – so use the good crystal today!

In regards to work, a sage piece of advice I’m trying to live by is: every time you say ‘yes’, think about what you are saying ‘no’ to. It helps me make decisions about what’s really important, and feel much less guilty saying ‘no’ to requests, including work offers.

The work advice which I do heed, and I often pass on to others is: If it’s not fun, don’t do it! (You either need to find a way to make it enjoyable, or get out!)

What work do you do? I have just started a company, Beautifully Bald, which specialises in stylish full coverage headwear for women who have lost their hair. I also run a business consulting company, Red Zebra Consulting; and I design and make jewellery and accessories for Red Zebra Designs. This year I am also convening the Immanuel Arts Festival, as well as participating in a couple of local art shows.

Previously I was a high school Art and English teacher for two years, an Army Officer for ten years, and a business consultant specialising in training analysis and project and risk management, which took me to the US and the Middle East.

What does a typical day look like at your place? There is no such thing as ‘typical’ – things are always swinging between manic and relaxed. I’m always up at 6am Monday to Friday. Some mornings, everyone is up and ready to go with thirty minutes to spare, other mornings it takes an hour and a half just to get the kids ready for school, and then we make the mad rush for the bus. When I’m working from home, I try to give myself the first hour to get all the house tasks done (otherwise I’m distracted all day) and have a cup of coffee – then I sit down to work until school pickup. I’m fairly disciplined in that aspect. Mid to late afternoons are spent ferrying kids around to a variety of sporting and musical events. I try to remember to feed my kids every night! Evenings are spent preparing for the next day, and working at my computer, while the kids are doing their homework. Once the kids are in bed I tend to catch up on non-work stuff like emails and volunteer work. I try to get to bed by ten and usually read a few pages of a trashy magazine before going to sleep.

How do you balance family and work demands? Not easily – and this is still a work in progress. I have always been able to get everything done, but found that, when working full time, the time I was spending with the children was not ‘quality time’ – they were just getting the leftovers. I accepted (after a while) that my most important job was to raise valuable citizens of the world, not my paid employment, and I have adjusted my work practices accordingly.

What would be an ideal day for you? Awake unaided and fully refreshed – realise it’s only 6am and I have a full day to enjoy! I’d look in the laundry and finding all the washing and ironing done, and look in the fridge to find there are enough healthy meals made for a week. I’d love a nice leisurely breakfast with the whole family; a chance for us all to talk and share. A couple of hours of pampering (massage, facial) wouldn’t go astray. I’d spend a couple of uninterrupted hours in my studio, painting. Then the whole family would take the dog for a walk on the beach in the late afternoon. We’d have a BBQ (with someone else doing the cooking, of course) on the deck with a few friends and my extended family – great company, great music, great wine. We’d listen to the kids play in the pool and find the washing up has all been done. Then I’d get an ‘I love you’ from the kids before they put themselves to bed. And maybe I’d stay up late to watch a great movie.

Where do you see yourself in five years – personally and professionally? I have no idea – I just keep going with the flow. I have been blessed with a wonderful life – I’m just trying my hardest to keep it going. I would love that I could make sufficient income from some of my creative ventures, and that Beautifully Bald is able to provide great support to charity organisations.

Robyn’s favourite things:

Book: The Millennium Trilogy: Girl with the Dragon Tattoo etc. They have a wonderful balance of fact, fiction and suspense, but all easy to read with very ‘real’ characters.

Music: Depends on my mood (and what I want my mood to be) – ranges from easy listening jazz, through to good old 70s hard rock

Food: anything I don’t have to cook

Holiday destination: Right now, I’m enjoying holidaying at home. When you live in a place as beautiful as the Sunshine Coast hinterland – 20 minutes to either the beach or the mountains – why travel somewhere else?

Rainy Day activity: Either working in my studio, or playing board games with the kids.