Parentville May/June
By Alsion Rodriguez
I don’t have time to sleep, I’m a parent; God forbid that I should be caught napping on the job! Need eight hours sleep? Nonsense. I’m sure I didn’t sleep at all last night. So rather than how much sleep we need, I am more interested in how much sleep a person can do without before they fall in a screaming heap.
By Alsion RodriguezI don’t have time to sleep, I’m a parent; God forbid that I should be caught napping on the job! Need eight hours sleep? Nonsense. I’m sure I didn’t sleep at all last night. So rather than how much sleep we need, I am more interested in how much sleep a person can do without before they fall in a screaming heap.
You know when you’re pregnant and some parent jokes “Oh you’ll never sleep again” and you think they are exaggerating? As a first time parent, my obstetrician repeatedly promised me “children bring great joy”. He was right, they do. What he didn’t tell me is that they also bring great work. It’s not something I like to dwell on, because I do it gladly, but I do wonder why no one thought to mention it. The indescribable joy of tucking a sleeping child into bed, is no insurance against the rabid tremors of frustration and sleep depravation. Sometimes I don’t like the person I’ve become.
Way back BC (before children) I used to have a life. There used to be plenty of ‘me’ time and endless ‘we’ time. (Spoilt GenXers, how narcissistic and permanently adolescent can we be?) I’ve found after three and a half years of intense sleep depravation that I am unable to access anything inside my head and it’s hard to have any ‘me’ time if you’ve forgotten who ‘me’ is! In fact, I’ve forgotten who everyone is. Today I sat near an ex-neighbour, whose daughter, as far as I remember, has always been a friend of mine and I had to ask who he was (sorry Peter!). Get a life? Get a few hours sleep!
Fortunately, I am learning to read the danger signs. I recently drove through an intersection and was instantly overwhelmed by panic as I thought “Oh no, was that light red? I looked but can’t remember.” Instead of a sign saying ‘Baby on board’,
I need to warn other drivers with a sign warning 'Sleep-deprived Mother On Board'.
Truth is, many mothers I know have quite openly said the only reason they go back to work is to have a bit of a break. As one father remarked of his wife returning to part time work, “…being with the kids full-time is just too much”. (Halleluiah brother, I hear ya…) Some of us catch a glimpse of full-time domestic duties and run as fast as our child-bearing hips will carry us. As my neighbour said quietly over the back fence “For me, it’s a bit of a holiday from the kids.”
Grab that ‘me’ time anywhere you can, I say. Personally, a glass of wine on the sofa after they have all gone to bed is as much ‘me’ time as I can scavenge right now. After 10 years of great joy I am almost on the brink of collapse. What’s the time? Pour me a glass of wine…
Ed's note: Since Alison wrote the previous article on Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, it is important to note she is not breast feeding!
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