Kids on the coast

Although we might get a laugh out of this, it’s a great way of illustrating the fact that letting kids access the internet without rules and appropriate supervision is asking for trouble. Well, duh, as the nearest pre-teen might say – but what are the best ways to keep kids safe online, without wrapping them in cotton wool?

Most of us know by now that rules for the information superhighway are as important as road rules in the real world. Just as you ensure your child holds your hand when you walk across a busy street, from day one, you can teach young kids to:

• Ask before they access the internet and/or use the computer
• Check with you before joining anything, filling out forms, downloading or clicking on links to unknown websites
• Keep private information private (kids should never give out personal information such as phone number, street address, email address etc.) Passwords are not for sharing, even with school friends.
• Be careful about `online friends’ – children should only ever communicate online with people they know in real life.
• NEVER meet an `online friend’, or speak to them on the phone, unless you are there too

Getting sociable online

So far, so good. But parenting in the cyber-age can be quite a challenge, given that we as a society are still coming to terms with the internet and all it offers. As the technology is still evolving, there’ll always be new amazing opportunities and potential dangers to be found online.

For example, while younger kids (those aged around 8-11 years) are more interested in playing games online, those aged 12 and over lean more towards `online social media’ – web-based tools such as FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter, blogs and chat rooms to send and receive instant messages, post photos, videos, and email. A 2007 study found that 93% of Australian teenagers use the internet, and 84% chat online every day (probably when they should be doing their homework, but that’s another article….)

The good news is the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) published a report earlier this year (Click and Connect – Young Australians’ Use of Online Social Media) which reported that kids, and their parents, are getting the message about staying smart and safe online.

Seventy-five per cent of children surveyed for the report said they knew not to give out their address or phone number online, and remembered key safety messages such as `people aren’t always who they say they are online’. Up to 78% of parents also reported having a `high level of knowledge of online risks’. Hopefully, this also means kids and parents are taking appropriate actions. For example, do you and your child know how to change or restrict the privacy settings on the social media sites you use?

A new and interesting twist for parents is that `danger’ might not take the form we expect. While the mental image of the creepy online predator is hard to shake, US research indicates that other problems are much more likely to affect children, the key areas being accidental exposure to pornography and cyber-bullying.

A 2005 study of 10-17 year olds in the US found that 34% reported being upset by unwanted exposure to material of a sexual nature, so it’s probably a good idea to find out how to, for example, adjust your computer, browser and search engine settings to avoid obviously unsuitable sites. You might want to investigate various ‘filter’ software programs, some of which can also be used to limit your child’s time online (a great way to make sure they aren’t spending too much time in front of a computer screen).

However, filtering software may have its own problems. For example, it may prevent older kids accessing anything from biology websites to YouTube, depending on the settings. Do your research beforehand so you don’t end up with something so annoying and ineffective that you end up turning it off most of the time anyway.

Go public

Telstra Country Wide Area Manager for the Sunshine Coast Jason Law says no filter is as good as proper parental guidance and supervision.
“One way to help children have a positive online experience is to educate them about the risks, then supervise your children online as much as possible,” he says.

“You can do this – and encourage family involvement – by having the computer in a public area of the home.”
As well as making parental discussion a natural part of computer use, this also helps kids grasp the idea that online communications are not really as “private” as they might think.

What about cyber-bullying?

Children may be tempted by a combination of peer pressure, immaturity and the perceived `anonymity’ of online communication into posting a comment or photo that may be nasty or hurtful. Of course, this is not limited to kids. There have been a number of prominent cases recently where adults have also been in trouble with employers, clients or even the law after their unwise online comments or emails were exposed.

Here are some useful guidelines to help protect children, and ensure they’re not drawn into victimising anyone else:

> Communicate respectfully. If you wouldn’t want to receive it, don’t send it. Don’t write or post any comment, photo or video that could bring harm to yourself or
someone else. If you wouldn’t want it printed in the newspaper with your name attached, then don’t put it in. The web is a lot more public, and permanent, than it
seems.

> As well as keeping your own information private, respect the privacy of others. Don’t repeat gossip, or share information about or photos of other people without their permission.

> Take your online responsibilities seriously. Know and understand that certain actions can have unpleasant repercussions for you and/or your family or friends.
 
> If you’ve done something and it doesn’t feel right, tell someone straight away. It’s always okay to tell and a trusted adult can help you handle the situation.

> If someone does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t respond. STOP, BLOCK and TELL. (ie delete / stop the communication, block the sender, and tell a parent or trusted adult. If appropriate, adults should alert the site moderator or service provider. If there are school students involved, notify the school.)

Spam, scams and spyware

Spam is online junkmail, often including get-rich-quick scams or offensive content. Viruses and other internet nasties like spyware (which can be used to gain private information such as banking passwords) can also be transmitted via email. Younger kids shouldn’t really need their own email address, and older kids should be taught not to click on pop-ups or open or respond to emails from an unknown sender, no matter how `exciting’ the subject line may appear. In addition, install virus protection software and keep it up to date.

Ground rules for social sites
 
Some experts say you should never read a teenager’s online communications, just as you wouldn’t read their diary. Others say that since messages in chat rooms, personal web-pages and the like are actually public, it’s important that you’re aware of what’s being said. Whichever way you lean, lay down some ground rules from an early age and keep communication open. Remember, older kids will be able to access computers at school, cafes or libraries, or friend’s places anyway, so you want to be firm but fair.

Studies show that as kids get older they’re more likely to take risks, to form online friendships, and to be curious about sex. Unsurprisingly, then, research shows that it’s these older teenagers who are the most likely targets of adults seeking to groom them for sexual purposes, and it’s usually because they feel lonely or misunderstood at home that they take the bait. In other words, building a trusting, open and loving relationship with your kids will probably be the best protection you can give them.

Need more help?

For more online safety tips, it’s worth checking with your internet service provider. For example, Telstra and BigPond have put together a variety of programs and initiatives to help families to make their online experiences safer and more enjoyable. One such initiative is the Telstra Mum 2.0 program, which invites mums to get a ‘Digital Makeover’, which includes online training designed to give mums the confidence to keep up with their net-savvy kids. Telestra also provides online information services such as www.bigpond.com/cybersafety and works with police to stop anti-social online behaviour. “We want to help local parents and carers understand online technology, the way young people use it, and what they can do to foster safe online learning,” Jason Law says.

Another excellent resource is the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA)’s cyber-safety website, www.cybersmart.gov.au which includes a stack of interactive learning activities, videos and animations, online counselling, a section for older teenagers and great info for parents. Issues such as online privacy and dealing with cyber-bullying are covered in great detail, with extensive educational resources such as DVDs and classroom activities available for parents and teachers.

You can report illegal or offensive internet material to ACMA’s website: www.acma.gov.au/hotline
Lastly, for information and advice about specific internet safety issues and concerns, call the Cybersafety Contact Centre: 1800 880 176.