Kids on the coast

These are all questions considered by author Dannielle Miller who recently published The Butterfly Effect. “As an educator, a businesswoman, and a mother, it has long concerned me that while teenage girls are excelling as never before, and may appear to be coping with the demands life throws at them, behind closed doors they are silently imploding,” Dannielle Miller says.
 
What is body image?

In 2007 Mission Australia conducted a survey of young people and found that body image was the biggest worry of 11-24 year olds. In 2008 they rated it as their third biggest concern. Body image is not just about physical appearance. It includes feelings about yourself; your emotions and what you perceive are other people’s opinions of you. It is affected by several factors including race, age, societal pressures and expectations, and gender. While more girls suffer from a negative body image, this is certainly not exclusive.

Dannielle believes body image is “the sense of self that we have. It’s also what society tells us is the ideal shape or form, our family’s expectations, the sense of our own particular shape and attractiveness”. She feels we (more than any other generation) are bombarded with messages about what defines beauty. “That definition is becoming more narrow and artificial, giving unrealistic and unhealthy expectations in our young women,” Dannielle says.

This definition struck a cord and reminded me of an incident recently. My daughter was at a party in Brisbane and a young Korean girl wanted to take her photo. My daughter was a little surprised as she did not really know the girl but agreed until the girl said, “I really like your face, so when I go home, I’m going to take your photo to the plastic surgeon so I can look like you.”

It seems many Asian girls are trying to look more western because these are the faces depicted in movies and magazines. A young American man working in Japan told me, “The girls in Japan stay out of the sun as much as possible, so they can look whiter.” The irony being, girls in Australia risk skin cancer to get tanned while those blessed with darker skins are trying to look whiter!
 
What are the signs of body image problems?

Childhood Obesity
 
In 2008, 21% of children in Queensland were overweight or obese. This means 36,000 children were obese and 120,000 were overweight. Even more worrying, the rate in other states was found to be 2-3% higher. The Health of Queenslanders, Prevention of Chronic Diseases 2008 report states that childhood obesity often leads to problems such as low self esteem and poor body image.

It also affects the health of children and can cause asthma and sleep apnoea. Over a period of time overweight and obese children may also develop cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, and high blood cholesterol. As adults they are more at risk of contracting Type 2 diabetes, and some cancers.

The report states that while there is some evidence “that Queensland’s investment in prevention programs is starting to have an effect, there is still much to be achieved in terms of preventing overweight and obesity, and promoting good health”.

Being an overweight or obese child can also lead to social and emotional problems. Overweight children are more likely to be targeted by bullies, teased, and are less likely to participate in active games. Because of this they often withdraw from lunchtime play, spending more time sitting inside, and missing out on the friendships being forged during play time, alienating themselves further from their peers.
 
Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are rare in children under the age of eight. However, there are some signs that should not be ignored. These include weight loss, changes in behaviour with food, and concern about their body shape and size.

Eating disorders are not really about food but indicate emotional, social or developmental concerns. Often those suffering from eating disorders feel their lives are out of control, and feel they gain power over their bodies by controlling food intake, often overexercising and denying themselves food.

Causes of eating disorders include personality factors, and social and environmental factors. Some may develop after long periods of illness or dieting attempts while others whose life is in disarray feel controlling their eating is the one thing they can succeed at.

Dannielle says it is often the very bright, high achievers who develop eating disorders. “A teenage girl may cling to her eating disorder in the belief that it is the only way she can cope with the stresses of life,” she says. “A quest for perfectionism crosses over into their quest for the perfect body.
Our culture, that values outward appearances and the external, can be a dangerous thing.”

At what age can body image become a problem?

Body image problems can begin as early as preparatory school, but this is rare. Dannielle has met worried parents of seven and eight year olds who are asking the questions, “Do you think I look large in this? Am I as pretty as the others?”
 
How can parents help their children have a good body image?
 
“Value yourself more than your looks. You’ve got other things that are really important to you,” Dannielle says. “Being a good role model will help your children feel good about themselves.

“Mothers constantly preoccupied with how they look, rushing off for Botox, and trying to be the perfect mother, wife, and career girl, are giving their kids the wrong message.”

Dannielle says parents are powerful; they have a lot of capacity to shape their children for the better. “What instinctively we know is right and wrong probably is,” she says. “Listen to your children, before trying to fix their problems, or telling them not to worry. What may seem nothing to you can be a major concern for them.

“When he or she realises you are listening, without judging, you will find they will confide more and your bond will be closer.”
Dannielle suggests parents take the time to spend time with their children in activities they can both enjoy.

Go shopping, coffee, the movies, or go for a walk or a swim, and enjoy some down time. Allow children privacy by not prying too closely into his or her life, unless you have genuine cause for concern, and try not to be critical of friends or wardrobe choices.

Dannielle feels it is important to allow your child to make mistakes, and learn from them. “Admit when you are wrong, let her see it is okay to fail, and to find some things really hard, and encourage her to keep trying,” she says (specifically about girls), “Be proud of her achievements, praise is a wonderful boost to everyone’s self esteem.

“Let her best be enough and keep expectations of her academic, sporting or musical accomplishments realistic.”

Enlighten Education

In 2003, along with Francesca Kaoutal, Dannielle founded Enlighten Education, a program designed to help girls overcome body image and self esteem issues, self doubt and stress. Dannielle, an English teacher who spent a lot of time working with students at risk, saw a need to develop programs to help all girls and young women.

The programs aim to partner schools, parents and girls to be proactive in their goal to “raise amazing young girls”.
Currently the programs are aimed at girls from years 6-12, but much to Dannielle’s delight schools are adopting the programs right across all years with real commitment in their pastoral care programs to give girls a strong sense of self worth.
 
Dannielle’s blog offers good advice, informative articles for parents, girls and teachers. Visit: www.danniellemiller.com.au or: www.enlighteneducation.edublogs.org

The Future

The Minister for Youth Kate Ellis accepted an advisory report on October 27, 2009 to help the Federal Government address negative body image. The report encourages advertisers, the media and the fashion industry to promote more positive body image messages. The report includes a Voluntary Industry Code of Conduct on Body Image suggesting healthy weight models, and realistic images of people are used in magazines.

Girlfriend magazine, for instance, now informs readers if pictures have been digitally enhanced. It also notes that models have spent hours having hair done and make up applied to achieve the results seen in the magazine.
 
The report also recommends building resilience in young people. It encourages schools, parents and community groups to work with students giving them a more realistic view of their bodies, focusing on health and fitness and not obsessing with perfection.

It is important that all groups work together to encourage young people to have a healthy respect for their bodies. It is through the encouragement of influential women, like Sarah Murdoch, Mia Freedman, Kate Ellis, Dannielle Miller and Francesca Kaouta, that hopefully the problem of this constant quest for the perfect body will no longer cause so much anguish for our young women. As Dannielle says, it is important “communities, schools and parents work together to raise amazing young women”.

Further reading

The Butterfly Effect

by Dannielle Miller

The Butterfly Effect by Dannielle Miller B.Ed is a book designed to help parents raise happy daughters who have confidence, good self esteem, and a good body image. Its aim is to guide parents through many of the issues facing young girls and women in our society seemingly obsessed with creating the perfect body image. The issues of body image, teenage drinking, self harming and suicide, fashion, friendships, and eating disorders are discussed. Dannielle approaches these concerns with commonsense; ensuring girls develop a strong sense of self worth. This well written, thought-provoking and well researched book is a must read for parents of girls.